…(Wrote this 3 years ago, well worth re-visiting)

Take a look at the picture above, what do you see?

Do you see imbalance, do you see scars, do you see anything else?

The scars on my back are a marker of the journey I have been on and NOT the result of a journey I have been on.

These scars are a part of me but they are not who I am.

And these are just a few that I have,

The 6 inch scar on my head from the brain tumour,

The 2 inch scar on my leg from barb wire

And the 2 inch scar on my groin after falling out of a tree….

Not to mention all the scar tissue in my colon from the auto-immune disease of my gut that I used to have.

It can be so easy to allow yourself to define yourself by what or what doesn’t fit the social norms of acceptable on the outside.

I remember being called pretty spiteful names as a kid like ‘hunch back’ etc and I really just wanted to be ‘normal’ in those moments, to have a straight spine.

Yet as the scars fade the wounds feel less severe, they calm down and you start to heal.

But what about the emotional wounds we carry?

In my experience, the emotional ‘wounds’ that I experienced and created are much more long standing than any external wound on my body.

The emotional wounds of bullying for being different, the wounds from being singled out and the wounds for not feeling enough just as I was in this body.

These wounds to this day stay with me much more.

I have made peace with my physical body and find acceptance and gratefulness in how strong it is, considering all the adaptations.

What I have found WAY more of a challenge is the letting go of the internal wounds I mentioned.

The self hatred..

The internal fights..

The thoughts and feelings of rejection…

The not enough ness..

All felt VERY real for me and the funny thing is over the years they got MORE intense, unlike the physical wounds that always heal.

And this is kinda my point today.

If you have internal ‘wounds’, situations that you have faced in your life that cause you large amounts of stress, that bring you down and see you in a downward spiral time to time…

It wont get better UNLESS you choose to face it.

It’s well known the more we turn away from something, the bigger it seems to get.

Take issues in a relationship, both people know deep down if there is an issue but if you refuse to confront it as it feels awkward then it will eventually blow up in your face.

Yet when you turn IN to something, although sometimes fucking uncomfortable, it will shrink.

In time it will feel better and you will heal.

This has been my experience.

That’s why I always tell people, to have what you want is EASY, yet making the choice isn’t.

It’s easy to see the blocks in life, they are represented by the RESULTS that we have.

Yet FACING those results and taking responsibility is the ‘hard’ bit.

Because, as soon as you acknowledge the issue, it becomes yours to deal with.

Not many people like that kind of responsibility simply because they don’t believe in themselves enough to solve the perceived issue.

It’s way easier to blame the world.

A word on blame.

The most unhappy people I have ever met were always a victim in some way.

This happened to me I was dealt a bad hand.. That’s just the way life is.

And I WAS that person, after dying a few times and being beaten emotionally for many years, I believed that I was destined for an unhappy life.

Yet I took responsibility and chose to do something different, to think different, to act different.

It worked out kinda well.

Now I’ll ask you to consider this, where do you hold onto the internal wounds to validate a victim story.

To get connection,

To get significance,

Be honest with yourself as that’s really the only way life is going to change long term for you.

You are not broken and you never were, no matter what you have experienced.

Your path is divinely guided and is always looking out for you.

Now I hear people say to me ‘how can you have that outlook on life after all you went through?’

My reply, I can let the past rule my NOW if i I choose yet that will never give me the opportunity to create my future in a way I prefer.

I am NOT my past, yet the past moments are my fuel, my power and my purpose to live the life I do.

When you can start to see EVERYTHING in life as a gift then you have no fears anymore, just fuel and opportunity to show the world what IS possible.

So you have a choice, just like I do.

Consciously create what you prefer and heal the internal wounds of the past or let the unsealed wounds of the past run the show.

Your choice.

C x