10 years on
10 years on eh?
Well, I’m not really fussed for the who ‘ageing’ thing and what I look like.
It’s more the ‘energy’ of the person in the pictures.
For me these pictures show me a willingness to change who I was being because it wasn’t serving me anymore.
The pic from 10 years ago is a guy on medication, unhappy and escaping as often as possible to alcohol and drugs without ever considering the implications on my physical and mental health.
A guy that was lonely and isolated himself unless he was drinking.
I told myself it was ‘all under control’ and that I can stop when I wanted.
Yet I never stopped for years.
I thought I was accepted when I was being this person but I never ever accepted myself.
The switch flicked later that year when I left corporate finance and moved into training as a personal trainer.
I started addressing my health that was declining.
I’d only a few years early got over a brain tumour and then meningitis of the brain.
I still had a auto-immune condition raging inside me.
The medications slowing symptoms on one side and destroying my liver & spleen on the other.
I’ve learnt a lot about myself in 10 years.
More than that, I’ve let go of a lot of things that don’t serve me anyone.
It’s been 10 years of profound growth and change.
It’s why Marta and I love this work.,
When I look at the path I was on 10 years ago, I was heading for implosion.
A life on the soulless corporate ladder.
Thank fuck I CHOSE to change!
We all have that choice.
Yet know this, this journey has plummeted me to the depths of darkness and at points I questioned the ‘point’.
Yet on the other side I found self acceptance.
That’s more than worth it.
